i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
