Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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