I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Panties = found
Randomize
