The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
fuck your aforementioned shoe
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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