Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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