I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
