It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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