she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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