so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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