Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
