party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
