I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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