sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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