I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
