so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Randomize
