The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
