yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
