tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
two words: eviction party
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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