he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
