new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
