if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
