We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
