His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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