Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I need moral support for this bender
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
