i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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