My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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