My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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