I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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