I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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