She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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