brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
