Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
