I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
