I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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