3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
