im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
