We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I understand Curling. That high.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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