I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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