So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He felt like a one man threesome
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
