A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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