i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
