yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
