Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
