hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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