I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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