She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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