I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
