he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Redeem this text for a blowjob
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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