Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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