Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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