You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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